


Goodnight Stiles

by MyOldSterekFicFromHighSchool



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Hurt, Hurt Stiles, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Other, POV Male Character, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 10:42:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20062702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyOldSterekFicFromHighSchool/pseuds/MyOldSterekFicFromHighSchool
Summary: Every Saturday night, while Stiles is away at college, Stiles and Derek video chat.One night their conversation takes a different turn. Derek tells Stiles he’s going to do the unthinkable. Stiles tries to understand why Derek wants to do what he plans to do and also try to find a way to stop him.





	Goodnight Stiles

**Author's Note:**

> This story is inspired by the play “‘Night, Mother” by Marsha Norman.  
I do not own Teen Wolf or ‘Night, Mother.

I couldn’t wait to talk to Derek.

“Hey babe,” I said as soon as I saw my boyfriend on the screen. 

“Hi,” he said with little emotion. His expression also matched his tone. 

His face showed no emotion. He was neither smiling or frowning. There was nothing. He was just blank.

“Woah there! Don’t kill me with excitement, Derek.” I said sarcastically. I chuckled. 

He cracked a small smile. 

“How are you? What have I missed there in Beacon Hills?” I asked. 

“Not much has really happened since you’ve been gone, Stiles.” he answered.

A silence soon filled our conversation. A comfortable, yet tense silence. 

I stared at the screen. 

After a minute he said, “What happened to us, Stiles?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.

“I mean before you left we, well mainly you, would talk without any room for air. We would talk for hours on end. And we definitely didn’t have to plan it out.” He paused. Thinking. “Everything just seems,  _ different _ , between us. I miss you Stiles. I miss talking to you in person — looking into your brown eyes. I miss Scott. I miss the pack.”

I sighed. I knew this conversation would happen eventually. I just didn’t want it to be now. 

“I’m sorry babe, but I don’t know what to say. Long distance relationships are never easy. You knew that this situation would be a possibility before I even moved. Are you saying you want me to come back? Because I can’t do that right now.” His face hardened. He sucked his cheeks in and looked down.

Just by those little movements, I could tell that what I said had bothered him. 

Even though Derek is my boyfriend, he’s still afraid to show me any emotions. I hope that one day I’m able to break down his walls.

“Ugh,” I groaned. “That sounded really insensitive. Derek, I’m sorry but what do you expect me to do? I can-”

“I know, just… just forget I said anything. I wasn’t thinking.”

“No, it’s okay.” I assured him. “I miss you too. I can’t wait to see you.”

He cracked a small smile. But it didn’t transfer to his eyes. Now I know something’s up. And it’s not just what I said either.

“Derek,” I started. “I know how I reacted just now, might make it seem like I don’t care. But I’m just really busy at the moment with school and work. Derek I love you, I promise I really do. And that means that you can talk to me about anything.” 

I waited for a response. When I didn’t receive one I said, “I know something’s wrong. You can tell me. It’s okay.”

Another pause.

I was not expecting the next five words to come from his mouth.

“Stiles I’m going to kill myself,” he said slowly.

He’s joking. He can’t be serious.  _ My _ Derek Hale couldn’t be suicidal. He’s too strong for that. 

“Derek, that’s not funny. Don’t joke about stuff like that.”

“I’m not joking Stiles. I’m really going to kill myself and you ca-”

“Why?” I questioned. Cutting off whatever he was going to say. “Suicide isn’t the answer Derek.”

His expression broke my heart. “You can’t say anything to change my mind.”

And with that, I knew he was serious. I can’t let him do this. 

I reached for my phone. 

“Don’t,” he said sternly. “I know what you’re thinking of doing. Don’t or I’ll just exit out of here even sooner than I planned.”

If I can’t call anyone, I’ll just have to distract him and hopefully change his mind. 

“Fine.” I said. 

I retracted my hand away from the phone. 

Derek raised an eyebrow. 

“You’re okay with that?” he asked. 

“No I'm not okay with you killing yourself Derek. But if me trying to stop you means you’ll be dead sooner, then I won’t.”

He nodded his head in approval. 

“ _ But _ ,” I continued. “I’m not going to let you leave me without answers.”

“Ok. That’s fair enough.” he said. 

With my thoughts racing, I didn’t need much time to think of what to ask. 

“What happened? What caused you to think of doing something like this?”

“Life happened, Stiles. You’ve got to understand that I’ve been thinking about doing this for years now. I’ve only just now found the courage to actually do it.”

I was shocked. He’s been thinking like this for years and I’ve never noticed?! He’s my boyfriend! How could I not notice that something was up?

“When?” I asked. 

“When what? When did I start having these thoughts?” he asked stupidly.

“No, Derek. When are you-” I couldn’t finish the sentence. It hurt too much to say it out loud.

“Tonight,” he said casually. 

“Derek why would you tell me this?” I asked, “Why would you tell me this, when you know I can’t do anything to stop you? You don’t even  _ want _ me to do anything. It’s like you're torturing me.” I leaned forward, rubbing my temples slowly.

Hundreds of emotions coursed through my body — anger, frustration, sadness. I feel sad for obvious reasons. I don’t want to lose Derek. I don’t want to imagine what this world will be like without him.

I’m not only angry at myself because I didn’t detect Derek’s sadness; but because now that I do know, I can’t do anything to stop it. 

I’m frustrated at Derek's nonchalant attitude towards this whole situation. He really thinks this is nothing.

“I don’t know Stiles.” he said, his voice bringing me out of my thoughts. “I just don’t like the idea of leaving a suicide note. I feel like leaving one would leave you with a lot of unanswered questions.” He sounded as if he’d given this much thought before.

I stared at him in shock. I was still having a hard time processing what we were discussing.

“So...” he said.

“So… what?” I asked, not understanding what he was getting at.

“So, do you have any more questions or not? Because now’s your time to ask.” He sounded a little annoyed. 

“Derek don’t you love me? Why would you do this to me?” I didn’t try to hide the hurt in my voice.

“Really Stiles? You’re actually making this about you right now?” He chuckled. “But yes, I do love you Stiles.”

“Then why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to me? Yourself? Everyone, Derek. We love you. Scott, Lydia, dad, Kira, Braeden, Allison...she-she loved you Derek. I  know she did. Even Peter does. He just doesn’t show it. But I know it’s there underneath his sass.” I smiled a little, trying my best to lighten up the situation. “We all love you Derek.”

Hanging his head low, he shook his head. After a moment he looked up and said, “I knew you would say something like that. It does make me feel a little better, but not enough to change my mind. I’ve made my decision and there’s nothing that can stop me. Not even you Stiles.”

“I’m not gonna let you do this-”

“Stiles-”

“No. Derek, I’m not going to let you do this. We’ve been together for how long now? Two years? Two years Derek. I’m not going to let you go that easy.”

“And how are you going to stop me Stiles?” he said almost mockingly. Cutting short my attempt to persuade him.

There’s nothing I can do to stop him. I can’t call anyone, because of his earlier warning. Even if I could call someone, by the time anyone got there, he could be dead. 

I exhaled, letting out a breath I didn’t know I was holding in.

I hate to say it, but this is hopeless. Derek’s always been so stubborn, so I don’t think anything I say will persuade him. 

My only chance is to stall him by asking questions. 

“Why do you have to do this tonight? Can’t I see you, physically, one last time before...you go?” I still had a hard time mentioning ‘it.’ I stumbled over the last few words. 

I continued. “I’ll even drive out,  _ tonight _ , if it means that you’ll wait a little longer. Derek please stay with me.”

“Stiles are you kidding? We’re 6 hours apart. I don’t want you making that drive at this time of night. And besides, you probably have a test or something tomorrow. I know how important your grades are to you.”

Is he serious?!

“Derek. That’s the last thing on my mind right now. I care more about you than I do about my grades.” I stated, matter of factly. 

When he didn’t say anything, I changed the subject.

“How are you going to do this? I’ve seen werewolves survive injuries that humans wouldn’t. They can withstand practically anything. So just what do you have planned Derek?”

I know my question probably sounded harsh, but I don’t think he’s thought this through. How can a werewolf actually kill himself?

I raised an eyebrow, waiting for his response. 

“I’d, uh, rather not go into that. It’s too much for you to handle.”

Painful silence filled the conversation. 

I don’t know what else to say. What else to ask. 

I can’t distract him. There’s no stopping him. Even in his weakest moment he’s still stubborn ol Derek. 

“Are you done trying to distract me?” he asked. 

“How did you-” I started.

“Yeah,” I said sighing.

“Well. Then you know what that means.”

“No, Derek. I don’t know what that means.” I said. A sudden anger rushed through me. I took a few deep breaths, letting the anger subside. “Yes, it means that you’re leaving me. Leaving everyone who loves you, confused and hurt. I mean, what am I supposed to tell people? Say that I had a conversation with you minutes before you died and I couldn’t do anything to stop you? Because, if so, then that makes me look like a terrible boyfriend who doesn’t care. And that’s not true, Derek. That is 100 percent false. 

“I do care about you Derek. More than I care about anyone else in the pack. Even more than Scott. Derek, please don’t leave me. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I love you.”

Looking at me intently, his expression softened. He looked almost as if his mind had been changed. “I’m sorry Stiles.” He began. “I love you too. But like I said before, my mind’s been made and you can’t change it.”

I shook my head in disapproval.

He moved his hand towards the computer.

“Goodnight Stiles.”

********

And with that, he ended the chat.

As soon as the chat ended, I called my dad. 

I waited impatiently for him to answer. It took a few tries, but finally after about the sixth call, he answered. 

“Geez, Stiles. Why have you been blowing up my phone? This better be an emergency,” he said impatiently. 

“Dad, it’s Derek. He-” 

I guess he heard the panic in my voice because he replied, “Stiles, what is it? Did you two break up or something? Because this isn’t the type of thing that I’m good with. Maybe you should call someone else your age.” It’s just like him to blow off me and Derek’s problems. 

“No, Dad. It’s worse than that! Derek said that he’s going to kill himself! Dad you need to stop him.” At this moment, the reality of the situation hit me. My own words crashed into my heart like a runaway train. Derek is actually going to kill himself and I can’t do anything about it.

This is all my fault. Why did I have to go to college so bad? My absence has probably been like torture to him. How could I be so selfish?! I’ve been so caught up in my career and I haven’t even stopped to think about how Derek feels. I just left him by himself. 

A feeling of complete hopelessness washed over my entire body. Derek could be dead at this exact moment. 

“Stiles, I just can’t leave work.” I heard my dad say, snapping me out of my thoughts. 

“Dad, seriously?!” I replied in disbelief. 

“Stiles, I don’t know what you want me to do?” he said, his voice raising a little.

“Dad, you’re the sheriff! People call  _ you _ when they have emergencies!” I said, exasperated. 

Sighing, I said “Forget it. I don’t have time for this and yelling isn’t going to make you care. I’ll call someone else.” 

“Now hold on Stiles, you know I care about Derek. He’s like a son to me.” 

There was a short pause. I don’t know how, but even through the phone I could tell that he was rubbing his hand over his face. 

I heard him sigh.

“Alright, where is he?” he said, finally giving in.

“He’s in his loft.” I said quickly. 

I could hear my dad getting up from his chair and grabbing his keys. 

“Stiles, just stay calm. I’m gonna go check on him.” he said before hanging up. 

What do I do now? I decided to call Derek, hoping he might’ve changed his mind.

*******

After what felt like an eternity, my phone rang. 15 minutes had passed since I spoke with my dad. I answered the phone before the second ring, not even bothering to check who it was. I knew it was my dad. 

“Stiles-” he said. 

“Dad is Derek…” I couldn’t finish my sentence. It hurt too much. 

There was a long pause. I heard my dad inhale slowly. 

His hesitation frustrated me. 

“Dad say something!” I demanded. 

“Stiles, I’m sorry.” He said through a thick voice. 

“No… no, say anything but that.” I said devastated. 

Dropping the phone, I slid to the floor as tears streamed down my face. The tears quickly turned into sobs. 

“Stiles?” I heard my dad say from the phone. His voice was distant. 

“No Derek. Please don’t be dead.” I whispered to myself. I began to sob. 

The harder I cried, the more I felt that I was slipping. Slipping into a state of emptiness. As corny as it sounds, Derek was my soulmate. I neglected my soulmate, so badly that he was driven to suicide. It took Derek killing himself, for me to realize how much I love him — to realize that he was my soulmate. They say you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. 

I felt a hollow feeling in my chest, like something was missing. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.  
This story was written several years ago. I came across it a few days ago and decided that I should post it.  
It is the first fanfic I've ever written.  
Feel free to leave a comment if you enjoyed.


End file.
